Zev Porat

Monday, January 8, 2018

ARE YOU SPIRITUAL ENOUGH NOT TO FORGIVE?

by Rev. Joda Collins

Part one of this article is at http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2017/12/it-is-not-sin-to-follow-jesus-example.html

Part two of this article is at  https://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2018/01/universal-wholesale-forgiveness-is-sin.html


We should not give alcohol to a drunk, drugs to a drug addict, money to a person who wastes it, child-care responsibilities to a pedophile, the keys to our house to a thief or a gun to a murderer. Doing these things facilitates the evil of the offender.  Rather, we should confront evil-doers, hold them accountable for their wrongs and challenge them to change.  

When you give universal wholesale forgiveness (forgiving everyone of everything even if they do not ask for or want your forgiveness) to people who have wronged you, you are not holding them accountable for their wrongs.  You are not challenging them to change.  You ARE facilitating their sinfulness, misbehavior and/or wrong acts. 

Much of this article sounds like it is about me. It is not. It is about you. Follow the thought pattern and you will see.

A woman sinned against me in 1985.  Her husband called me in early 2,000 and I inquired about her possible attempt to make things right with me.  That did not happen. I still have not forgiven her.  A man offended my wife in 2002.  She confronted him about it in hopes he would repent. He did not. I confronted him about it and he told me he would not even discuss it with me or her.  I have not forgiven him for wronging my wife. Neither has she forgiven him.  

A pastor did me wrong.  I talked with him about reconciliation. He slighted my attempt. I see him around town now and then and just ignore him to best ensure he knows that I have not forgiven him.  A family member did wrong to me in 2012 and continues to do wrong to me.  This person, by her continued wrongs against me, has made it clear she has no intent of repenting.  I have not forgiven her. (Dates may be off. I did not write the dates on a calendar, but trusting my best recall.)  

All I want them to do is admit their wrong(s) against me and ask my forgiveness. I am eager and ready to forgive immediately.  I am simply holding them accountable for their sins against me.  It is that simple. Because I am holding them accountable, each has decided to depart my life and that is their right.

Because they are out of my life (assuming they are the same low quality people) I believe my life is sweeter, calmer, safer, richer, better and more blessed.  And, they are not in so easy a position to continue to do me wrong.

Now, let us compare my situation to scripture. What follows are paraphrases of verses or biblical concepts for the sake of summary and ease.

If your brother sins against you, confront him, and see if he repents.  If so, you have gained or regained fellowship with your brother. This is a paraphrase of Matthew 18:15.  None of the four have repented, so I am in accord with Matthew 18:15 not to forgive.

I am not only ready to forgive, I am excited about it. I want to forgive every one of them. I am giddy to forgive.  Forgiving each one is my heart's desire. Very little in life could give me more joy than to forgive every one of them.  I hold no grudges against any of them.  I am not mad or bitter against any of them.  Compare Colossians 3:13.

I have no desire to see any of them suffer.  See Proverbs 24:17.

I pray they will find it in their conscience to ask forgiveness.  I have and would use every opportunity that is before me to do good to and for each one.  Read Matthew  5:44. 

However, I do not want to facilitate their wrongs against me by failing to challenge them to face and admit their wrongs.  I am not a facilitator of evil.  Reference Hebrews 10:24 for this biblical concept.

If the day comes that I am bitter against any one of them, want to see any one them come to harm or lack the tenderness of heart to forgive upon request, then I must forgive them for my sake.  I become the person in need of ministry.  However, until that time, they are the focus of the need of ministry. They need to repent and learn from their mistakes and wrongs.  I am being used of God to help them down that road of spiritual progress.  I am here for them. I sincerely pray they will succeed.  I want them to.  

God is using me to minister to them because I am strong enough in the Lord to do so.  If I was not, I would have to forgive them even if they did not repent and God would have to try to find someone more spiritual to stand up in love and give them a target to aim their question of, "Will you forgive me?"  

Real ministry for others and real love for others does not facilitate the failures of others, but their success. If cannot do that, God will search for someone who can.  I want to be strong enough for God and strong enough for others to facilitate their success in how to seek forgiveness and repent for wrongs done, not facilitate their failure by pretending their sins against me are meaningless to me or to God, and therefore, (at least by implication) should be meaningless to them.  I cannot forgive them and be right with God unless they ask for forgiveness as long as I am strong enough in the Lord to love them and not forgive them at the same time. 

There are verses that some people feel make universal wholesale forgiveness mandatory for all Christians. I hope to get to those verses and clarify them soon.  Keep watching this PNN blogspot. 

I promised this article is about you. Are you spiritual enough to be a minister of grace to those who do you wrong? Can you stand and live in God's grace without automatically forgiving every one who offends you for your sake and benefit because your un-forgiveness causes bitterness that consumes or derails you?  If you forgive others for your benefit that is not a sin; but is does not give them the greatest chance to experience the best of God's grace.

We should not give alcohol to a drunk, drugs to a drug addict, money to a person who wastes it, child-care responsibilities to a pedophile, the keys to our house to a thief, a gun to a murderer,   or un-requested and unappreciated automatic forgiveness to everyone who wrongs us.  Doing these things facilitates the evil of the offender.  

Rather, we should confront evil-doers, hold them accountable for their wrongs, require them to ask forgiveness and challenge them to change if we are spiritual enough to carry that responsibility well. Are you?  (See, I told you this article is about you.) 












Rev. Joda Collins

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/jodacollins

I make no claim that anyone else agrees with me.


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